I Know Why

I was demanding something out of life.

Something that I thought was mine to ask.

Something that I thought I was ready for.

Now I know I was not.

Now I know I am still not

Because I haven't yet found what I was looking for.

Now I know it's a good thing I did not get what I wanted.

I'd have messed up what I had

Had I gotten what I was looking for when I was looking for it.

For once in my life,

I appreciate that life's timing is not my timing.

There will be a time lag between

When I ask for something out of life

And when life decides to bestow what I want on me.

And that's a good thing

Because there are things running in the background

That I need to understand

Things not necessarily immediately apparent

To the eye of reasoning.

I trust life's timing

I know now it's better than my understanding

Of my own needs and desires at any point in time.

I'm willing to wait for what I want

For as long as is necessary

Simply because I know now

That I need to learn what I need to learn

While I wait for what I want.

I will ask for what I want from you life

I know I will update what I want too

Based on my experience of what

You are teaching me.

My priorities will change.

My needs will change.

All I know is I will celebrate

Whatever it is that you give me

When you choose to give me

Because that may not be what I asked for

But certainly that's what's best for me in the bigger scheme of things.

I thank you life

For the time lag

I thank you for looking out for me

I thank you for having my back.

I honor your will

And I rejoice in your judgment.

Archie