I LET GO

I let go of the past
That involves you and your deceit.
I let go of the feeling I cherished for you.

I never even looked at you.
It was you who made me fall in love
Like I can never love again.
Then, you spun an intricate web around me
Only to deceive.

If it was another
You wanted all along
Why look at me
Like you cared?
Here I was thinking
That I was special
That you could not talk to me
Because you were shy!
What a fool you must have thought of me!
And what a fool I have been
To not believe the world
And believe the look in your eyes.

I am happy
It's over
And you broke the spell
Had it been me, I'd have felt guilty
For letting you down for the rest of my life!
I find misunderstandings a lot harder to forgive than deceit.
You do not deserve me
That I know now.

What I cannot explain to myself
Is how did I have that kind of
Blind faith in you?
When I find it hard to trust most individuals
Even after a trial by fire?
It makes me believe
You did care for me once
Because my intuition could not have let me down.
Something happened that changed your mind about our relationship.
But that does not acquit you of betraying me.
And it makes me angry with myself for
Making excuses for you
After the way you treated me
And wasted my life.
Makes me believe
Love is blind.

You start a new life
With the other person.
Make sure you do not let her down.
She may not be as kind as me
To let you go as I did.

I have just one problem
I am not able to overcome.
How do I listen to the songs again that
I have associated with you?
How do I move away from
The world I created for us?

I am a strong girl.
I know I can move on.
Move on I will.
I do not blame you
Because I do not want my heart
To hold any resentment
That I cannot moderate.
While it lasted it was beautiful.
Now that it's over
I don't regret it.

Archana, dated 29/4/08

THE SIN BEARER

It's a celebration
An occasion commemorated
In no mean measure a homa.
Our traditional bonfire
Surrounded by Pundits
Who chant shlokas
To bring fortune on the people
Who commissioned it.

No one noticed him
When he came in.
He was the kind of person
One ordinarily wouldn't notice
Just because nothing differentiates him
From the rest of the poor men.

He had a weak body
And a sad expression.
There was an inexplicable
Sadness in his eyes.
He looked like a person
Who had seen nothing but suffering.
Someone who had given up on achievement
And defeated by life
Had given in to destiny.

At the end of the homa
He came forward
And was given a sad reward.
A meagre consideration
In exchange for a family's sins.
A burden chooses to carry
Until he purifies himself
With a bath in the Ganges.

Is this how retribution works?
Can someone's sins be transferred
To a willing object?
Why would anyone choose such a life?
Is fate insurmountable?
The sin bearer walks away
With his reward.

Archana, dated 21/02/08

To all my loving readers

I am back! I am so sorry I have not updated my blog in ages! It's like I have been caught in a time warp I had no time for myself. Sounds suspicious? Trust me! I am as honest as honest can get. hehe. Anyway, now that I am back I am determined to document the rest of my ramblings. Thanks very much for the support!

Loads of love,
Archie

THE GREATEST WILL

If you ask me,
The greatest will
Is the will to go on living.
Come what may.
This will can keep your spirits
From sagging, to hold on to life
When you feel you have no reason to.
It leads you to be practical
To realize the truth
That nothing is permanent.
Neither your grief nor your ecstasy.
Besides, the more you live
The more you learn.
Someone has rightly said,
"You can die anytime. It takes courage to live."
It takes courage,
A whole lot of it
To put failures behind you,
To look beyond the present misery
When all you want to do is give up.
Don't let go of the greatest will
The will to go on living.

Dated 25/07/2007

THE IDEAL WISH

I wish it were possible
To entirely understand
The intentions and expectations
Of another person.
To be really in their shoes,
To look at the world
From their perspective.
It is a strange wish you say?
To me, it is the ideal wish.
There would be no misunderstandings,
No complaints that
"No one understands me!"
For each person is different,
The same set of circumstances
Draw different responses from each.
What affects one the most
Does not affect the other in the least.
The ideal wish would act as a key,
A key to the complex mystery,
To restore strained relationships
Into harmony.

Dated 2/07/2005

MY CONFIDENCE

You have broken.
My confidant,
My confidence in you
You have broken.
I trusted you,
My implicit faith in you
You have broken.
Your words now sound to me hollow.
The bright things you said,
The promises that you made
You have broken.
Exploitation of my innocence
Is what you did.
Before i snapped awake
From a nightmare of your creation,
It was too late.
It is my heart
That you break,
When you refuse
To even acknowledge the pain
You inflicted on me.

Dated 2/7/2005

HEAR ME OUT

He wants to speak,
She wants to speak,
They want to speak,
Nobody wants to listen.
Everyone only thinks of
Getting their points of view across
As clearly, as definitely as possible.
If everyone wants an audience
Who is going to be the audience?
Communication does not imply
All talk no one listens.
Besides, isn't it more beneficial
To listen and observe
Than let out all the personal secrets
At the slightest prodding from that other person?
It's not safe to lay all your cards on the table.
Have a trick or two up your sleeve.
Listen to understand, not to reply!
Listen to read between the lines.
The world is the listener's paradise
With such variety of information.
Listen.

Dated 5th June, 2005