Friday, November 19, 2010

Come Find Me Please

On a park bench in Paris I sit
I can see the Eiffel Tower from here.
It's starting to get cold and
I begin to miss you.

Who are you? Where are you?
Will you be the person I want
Or the person I need?
Will you care for me or just let me be?

When I see couples go by
I wonder if you'd like to hold my hand.
Will you make me mad or calm me down?
Will I be able to count on you?
Will you protect me from the storm
Or should I weather it out on my own?

I've been alone for so long
I've begun to doubt and question
If I will ever belong to someone.
Will my wait be worth my while
Or am I just wasting my time?

As I sit on this park bench by myself
Will you come looking for me?
Come and take me home?

26 Oct, 2010

Vulnerable Strength

A chain is only but as strong
As its weakest link.
I'm breakable
Please treat me with care.

I know I appear to be strong
God knows I am.
But that does not mean
My strength needs to be tested every time?
Every time I need to delve in to find my strength
I get hurt.
And I do not wish to be hurt anymore.
Be gentle with me.
My strength is vulnerable
Please handle me with care.

25 Oct 2010

No Happy Memory

I do think of you
More often than I'd like to.
I do not miss you
Of that I am certain.
In fact, you remind of
The disaster my life would have been
If I hadn't decided to let go.
Were you kidding or were you serious?
I've no clue to that.
I'm surprised my only official relationship
Does not stir the kind of emotion
It should rightfully.
Even when I see places you've seen
And lived in the same country as you
I do not for a moment wish to go back
To change my decision.
Again, I'm surprised at my own resolution
When I have second thoughts
About every second thing.
I'm happy you are no happy memory
It's made it easy for me to move on.

26 Oct, 2010

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Sadness Is Comforting Sometimes

This is a weird feeling
That has come over me.
I feel melancholic
But am comfortable with it.
I am listening to sad songs
And feel at home somehow.
My sadness is not bothering me,
In a very strange way,
It feels like home.
I know I am unwell and
That's what's probably triggering these emotions
But I don't feel the need for it to go away.
Quite paradoxically- I'm happy in my sadness.
My loneliness shelters and protects me.
Sadness is comforting sometimes,
It is comforting to me now.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I will be fine

In many ways
I have always changed
Once I find who I want to be.
It takes me forward in a way
That I don't feel the need to turn around and look.
I am surprised at how much I have changed
Within the boundaries I have set for myself.
It makes me feel proud when I
See how far I have gotten on my own.
The more I think about it,
I find that I am probably happiest on my own.
When I have just me
There is no one to let me down
No one to blame me
No one to judge
No one to dream with
To see those dreams shatter.
No false promises
No unrealistic expectations.
But I do have a little girl inside of me
Who'd love to be protected and loved.
That little girl is going away from me
More and more every time I am let down.
Is this what is growing up?
Giving up on a fairy tale
To face reality?
I accept this phase of my life too
As I change once more
To be who I need to be.
I hope someone finds me
Before the little girl goes away forever.
I know I am going to make a wonderful woman
Or hang on, have I already become one?

12 Oct, 2010

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


For the first time in my life
I feel really beautiful.
It's not that everything in my life is sorted.
Honestly, nor do I want it to be.
If I could plan in advance
What my life was meant to be
And it worked according to that plan
I'd be limiting my life to how much I can plan.
I want to be able to
Watch with wonder as life unfolds before me.
I want to experience the possibilities
That I did not think could happen.
I am surprised at what the universe
Manifests for me when I have done my best.
It's not exactly what I wanted
Or what I was hoping for
But somehow I know it's for my benefit.
When I will look back at current events
In my future
I'm sure I will know it all worked out for the best.
I feel beautiful
I feel beautiful inside.

11 August 2010

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Want To Make a Mistake

This one time
I just wanna let go.
This one time
I want to do what my heart wants me to do.
Being away from home
In a foreign country
Lets me explore a new identity.
Do I want to change?
Must I be one of them to be with them?
Can I do what I want to now
And let go?
What about the repercussions for others?
Does that mean I will be playing with them?

This one time
I just wanna let go.
This one time
I just wanna have some fun.
This one time
I do not want to stop myself
By logically thinking through
The repercussions of my actions.
This one time
Just let me go.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Whatever Happened?

In the world that we live in today
I honestly wish that bravery were not an old fashioned word.
I seek hopefully every time to
Only be disappointed
When another person I trusted
Runs away from facing the reality.
When things get really bad,
I find myself to be one of very few still standing.
It's now happened so often
That I have begun to question
If there is such a thing as integrity in the world.
Whatever happened to standing up for what is right
No matter what the consequence?
Whatever happened to speaking the truth
When you know it is going to get you into trouble?
Whatever happened to taking on people your own size?
Whatever happened to taking a stand
To protect the victim against the bully?
Whatever happened to the concept of a fair fight?
Whatever happened to looking at the larger good?
Whatever happened to being responsible for your words or actions?
Whatever happened to being nice at least to nice people?

I am made to feel like a fool sometimes
When I display any of the above characteristics.
But I am not going to let that make me cynical.
I know I am right and
I know this is the only way I know to live.
I know there are others out there
Who still believe in doing what is right
Over winning a battle that they have already lost
In the process of winning it.
I know I am appreciated for who I am.
But more than that
I know I need to sleep at night
And having a clear conscience
Gets me closer to that goal.
This is who I am.
But more importantly
This is who I choose to be.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Not a goodbye

I have been through times in my life
That have made me wonder
If there is such a thing as a goodbye.
Who decides when you let go?
Is it totally you, situations or something else?
How often have you had to return to
Something you had let go?
It's a humbling experience in life
To revisit places that you intended
To say goodbye to.
However, if the alternative to leave
Is worse than what you have to face to stay,
Trust me you will choose to stay.
And trust me again,
You will know how to face it.
When you know you have to deal
With something and accept it as reality,
You will find the strength in you to face it.
Either you can face it by hiding
Or face it bravely and tackle it head on.
When you choose to let go is not your choice.
But how to deal with facing reality is most certainly yours.
And I ain't cribbing!

30 March, 2010