I wish to be what I was once
Trusting and naive.
Seeing and believing
Without condition,
Without sarcasm and scepticism,
Without a past,
Without a memory,
I want to go back to me.
I've had enough
Of indecisive people
Who seem to be perpetually confused.
It's scary for me to see
I may be one of them.
Not deciding seems to give so much freedom.
Until I have decided
I can imagine all options
To be valid courses of action
And derive pleasure from that.
Except that's not the truth.
Peace does not stem from confusion.
It stems from clarity.
It's that clarity
That eludes me.
It's worse because I know
I'm consciously and sub-consciously
Wishing to be confused.
But now I know
I've had enough of the dilly-dallying.
I want clarity. I want peace.
I am not losing sleep over confusion.
I make my decision now.
I will only give it an hour
To sink in.
Archie
10 July, 2009
